Almaya's Daddy

This year has been a particularly difficult one for Jose and me. We have had to face losing a child, raising Jose's family--with the particular strain of 3 teenage girls--trying to buy two houses and building a life for our own family as well as Jose's family, losing our source of income, and dealing with the strains of a new marriage. Though I know there are many others in the world that deal with many more difficulties than these, it has been particularly challenging for me. However, among all the trials the Lord has blessed us and taught us to find refuge in our temple marriage. I can honestly say that as I have learned this I have never been more content in my life. Every time I just want to break down and give up, Jose is always there for me and always loving me, no matter what. I have been thinking a lot about him and our marriage over the last few months and I thought I'd post a quick thought about him and how grateful I am for him in my life...

I never really realized how truly lucky I was to find him when we first started dating. He has made my life happier and fuller than I had ever imagined. I honestly can never think of a single time when he has yelled at me or refused to do something for me--in fact, most of the time he does everything before I even have to ask him. I am not sure why he stays with me because I definitely don't treat him as good as he treats me [I think the Lord has blessed him with a blind love for me : ) ]

His life has never been easy, nor is it an easy burden now to provide emotionally and economically for 24 people, but he never complains--ever. Whether it's buying back-to-school supplies or a dress for a party, struggling with eating disorders or other health issues, or disciplining someone for ditching school or staying out too late; he is always there for his family as a father, a son, and a best friend. I have seen how much his family looks up to him, although they would never admit their gratitude to him. Many of them have never really known any other father than him and I know they love and respect him even though they don't voice it.

With having his hands so full of juggling work and the emotional and financial needs of so many I know it is incredibly hard for him to make time for his own little family--but he always manages to give me and the baby his undivided attention. He is so in love with Maya and talks to her and plays with her constantly. He is already completely wrapped around her finger. She is "Daddy's Little Girl" and has completely stolen his heart (hence the Tim McGraw song dedication on this blog). I know he worries about being the best father possible to her while still being the father of so many others in his family, but I have no doubt he will find a way to take care of everyone, as he always has. He has such a pure love for all those around him, not just in word but in deed as well. His life is more than discouraging as he tries to teach his family about the blessings of the gospel and prudent living--which almost always seems to be a failed attempt, but he keeps trucking on with an undying faith that the Lord with provide.

I know I don't make his trials any easier either. There are so many times when I just break down and want to get away from the responsibility of so many people. In those moments I can see the pain in his eyes as he is torn between wanting to give me and his children the best life possible and still having the responsibility of his family weighing on his conscious. I wish I could be as strong as him. So many times I hear husbands talk about their wives as their strength and rock--I wish I could be that for him, but he is definitely the one who plays that role in our marriage and I am so grateful for his perfect faith in Christ, his quiet patience in life, and his never failing kindness towards me.

I appreciate Jose in my life and look to him as an example of how I want to be someday. I am grateful for the love he has for "his little girl," his precious son Helaman, me, and the rest of his family. He strengthens me each and every day and I will always love and admire him for that.