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Friday, March 6, 2009

I haven't posted in the blog for so long because I was worried that maybe something I had written had offended someone else as well. I apologize if this is the case. My blog is a means for me to keep a diary of my and my little family's life. I, in no way, ever try to brag or search for pity in anything that I write. I know many times I complain or talk about the difficulties in my life in my posts. I realize there are many many more people that have it much tougher than me and I don't pretend to be blind to that. I write how I feel and say what happens to me from my personal prospective. I am not searching for any reaction from anyone. If people want to read my blog they are more than welcome--if not they don't have to. I would never wish to offend or hurt anyone and I apologize to anyone that has in any way felt offended by anything I have said. If you read this blog please keep in mind that you are reading a type of public diary entry that in no way takes into account others perspectives or experiences. I appreciate the two comments from Alysia and Allie--they gave me the courage to begin to post again and just try to ignore negativity. Thank you.
The last few weeks have been crazy. It's tough being a new mom--wow--a huge pat on the back for all those of you who have gone through motherhood--you are all amazing! : ) It's a challenge. I can't even begin to imagine what it's like for those who have extra medical stresses on top of everything else. Alysia--I seriously respect you so much. I have no idea how you deal with so much on your plate everyday and have to watch Grace suffer so much.

That point was really driven home for me this last week because Maya has been very sick. It kills me to see her suffer. Maya had been a little sick and clingy all week but the Tuesday after her baby blessing she woke up just not looking good. By the end of the day she had a temperature of over 101 and was throwing up and diarrhea non-stop. Maya doesn't like to eat normally--in fact we have had to breast and bottle feed ever since she was born to try to force her to eat enough--so since she was sick she had absolutely no desire to eat. Every time we tried to force feed her she would just throw it up. By Wed. morning when we rushed her to the doctor she had not eaten anything for over 18 hours and hardly anything before that for a week. She was severely dehydrated and so lethargic that she couldn't even blink. It was so scary. When I looked at her she looked like she was dead, there was absolutely no sparkle of life in her dried out eyes. It was an all too familiar reminder of when I held her older brother. The doctor immediately sent us to the ER for testing and an IV. As soon as we walking in the ER door they took one look at her and rushed her into the ICU section of the ER. I was really worried about her before then be after seeing how all the doctors were reacting in the ER I started to get really panicked. She had 6 doctors working on her for almost 2 hours without leaving her side. An hour of that was just trying to get an IV in her. Her veins had collapsed from being so dehydrated. They tried 15 different times trying to find a vein--everywhere, in her head, her hands, her arms, her armpit...It was horrible. I have never heard her cry like that. After about the eighth time they pricked her I couldn't handle it anymore and just broke down bawling. Alysia--you are amazing--I will never know how you summon the strength to watch the doctors poke and prod and Grace so much, even though you know it's for her good it's still so hard.
After a while of the IV fluids Maya perked up enough to eat a little breast milk and they sent us home. The doctor kept saying what a miracle it was--how fast she turned around from being so far gone. Scary and horrible experience. Now, two days later, she is much better but still on lots of meds to keep her temperature down and try to help her have as little pain as possible. She still is throwing up almost everything she eats but we have been able to keep her at least hydrated. She is so strong--so brave. The whole time she has been sick she hasn't really even cried just lots and lots of moaning. Hopefully she will get better soon and not have to suffer anymore.

On a lighter note--I have some pictures of Maya from the last few weeks...
Here she is in her traditional Mexican outfit from her Aunt AlysiaWith Grandpa AndersenOn my birthday (feb. 3) I dressed her up in the dress I originally bought when I was pregnant with Helaman (I thought he was a girl--hehe) Jose has always said that Maya looks like a baby Orangutan--I hate to admit it but he's right. HahaOur little baby OrangutanJose and Maya look and act so much alike--she is like a whiter, calmer version of him. They even sleep alike : ) ....Maya LOVES to take baths...wow she would stay in her little jacuzzi bath all day if she could. This is what happens to her hair naturally if I don't comb it down while it's still wet. Poor girl...
She always looks like she stuck her finger in an electric outlet. haha
Maya got a chance to visit her Great-Grandma Talbot a while ago. That is who she gets her name "Paulina" from